Hello, everyone.
Your issues have shaped nicely and your historical-causal claims are smart across the board. Several of you are showing yourselves to be very apt discourse theorists, and all of you have demonstrated real expertise or ownership of some of the theorists we have read. Welcome to the final stretch!
Sometime between now and 5 p.m. Thursday, please do two things in a single post:
1) Write a revision plan for your Historical-Causal Analysis, a.k.a. "research form," based on how you will rework it after today's peer review. Believe it or not, this post is not meant to be busy work, and it is not only for my benefit. Consider this the last public statement you'll make (in this, class at least) about your writing and try to construct an empathetic audience. Please be specific so that we can understand your justification for why you will revise something, where you will revise it (in the paper), how you will revise it, and what concepts or principles from the class will inform that revision, if any. Remember that we need to be filled in on the details of your project and we need to understand your whole discursive aim with the paper.
2) Discuss more concretely the Repurposed Genre (a.k.a. "real" form) you would like to create. Remember that that genre should stem from your historical-causal claim, rather than broadly address an issue. What do you have in mind in terms of audience, aim, venue? What main principle must you keep in mind for its rhetorical construction? If at all possible, as part of your post, include links or references to similar genres so that we can see what you are aiming for. And don't forget that you can browse sample genres below.
Good luck and have fun with this. The more you can show, the further along you are! Please post by "commenting" below.
-Professor Graban
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
The aspects in my historical-causal analysis I plan on revising are fairly specific. For one, I intend on finding some other way of referring to the "media". In my first draft, I think my use of that word is an overgeneralization. In instances when I use the word "media," I plan on changing it to something like, "text from popular media sources," specifying the exact thing that I mean.
ReplyDeleteI also intend on using more academic sources, especially some of the texts we've read from in the class. I failed to do this in the first draft, focusing completely on non-academic sources. More academic sources would give the essay more weight.
Considering, the subject matter, I want to write my "real" form as if it would be published in a magazine related to music or pop culture. I would think that it would have a light-hearted tone, since it's not like the subject is the most pressing issue in the world. It would sort of be like a side column. I think it would have a lot in common with the articles by Chuck Klosterman which I read when researching for the historical-causal analysis. My intended audience would be people that are interested in pop culture history or rock and roll history.
There are definitely a few things that I would like to change for the final draft of my historical-causal analytical research paper. The first thing that I need to take a look at is how I cited a few of my sources. I had a hard time recalling how to cite website sources, and I did it incorrectly. I now need to back through, and cite these instances with the author's last name or the article title.
ReplyDeleteI also feel that I need to focus a bit more on my claim. Honestly, I have no idea how I will be doing this--I may have to acquire more thoughts and opinions during the revision process.
My real form will be geared towards teachers and administrators about the effects of racism in schools. I think that I will be making an informational brochure with relevant statistics, and suggestions for teaching students acceptance skills. I am not sure if I will gear this towards high school teachers or elementary. In my paper, I am only concentrating on high schools; however, many experts feel that teaching acceptance and tolerance needs to be more prevalent in primary schools.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteResearch topic: Natural Hair Movement in the African American community (Natural Hair v. Permed Hair).
ReplyDeleteAfter allowing my peers to review my public awareness project rough draft, there are a lot of things I still need to work on. My peers helped me realize that I needed to have a stronger thesis statement and hypothesis. At the time I did not have a strong thesis or hypothesis but I believe I have made strides and I closer to having a strong thesis statement and hypothesis. I also need to find a couple of academic articles and incorporate writing theories into my research paper. I was having difficulty finding relevant academic articles discussing African American hair but now after discussing this issue with my peers, I am going to find articles about history of "the standard beauty" and actually trying to define beauty. I am also working on organizing my research paper a little better.
The real form I am interested in creating is a magazine article or spread for Essence Magazine. Essence Magazine is a magazine that attracts an audience of African American women from 17-70 years olds. Essence Magazine has also noticed the trend of African American women wearing their hair natural. This is one reason why I am interested in writing for Essence Magazine because I have noticed lots and lots of articles regarding natural hair and I believe I can reach out to a lot of African American women through this magazine.
Here is a link to Essence Magazine online:
http://www.essence.com/
When my peers edited my paper the biggest concern was narrowing the issue and choosing discourse about one facet of global warming and the trend of how it has come to the forefront of news media and American culture. What I want to focus on is one area, such as the discourse of deforestation and really analyze how it has come to the forefront and in what ways it has.
ReplyDeleteMy real form would hopefully address a general audience with an emphasis on the minority who do not strongly recognize the idea of deforestation and its' effects and how they can be reached through discourse and see why they have not been reached aside from the obvious claims. The aim would be to suggest or question how there could be discourse in one area of climate change that could show how each individual is affected by this problem instead of the constant "what-if" situations that occurs so often in climate change discourse
For my research form, I am going to make my thesis question clearer and more focused. With so much exposure from various forms of medium about the movement encourage recycling, what is the gap in discourse that is preventing people, particularly college students from receving this message and acting? In order to show that I have done enough research to identify this phenomenon, I am going to use another source. A sustainable report grades universities on how green they are, and I will use this as an example for students not proactively recycling.
ReplyDeleteMy targeted audience for the real form is going to be the offices of sustainability at Universities, preferrably IU. It is going to be interesting to provide an issue not from the actual means of being sustainable or green, but from the aspects of discourse to interpret this phenomenon. An alternative would be to submit it to the IDS, because a diverse group of readers is going to be able to read another perspective, the discursive writing about recycling.
For my revision I see many things that I could improve on. In the grammatical sense, i feel my word usage in some areas is lacking. Whether the vocabulary is dull or just misplaced, I plan on revising the paper to have more "buzz" words to jump out to the audience. In the sense of context, i plan on going more in depth (unpacking) more of my causal arguments. For example, some of my relations to Kaufer's conflict levels seem to fall slightly short on their respective explanations. To better help add to my credibility, i plan on finding more sources and examples of the topic applying to the public sphere and discourse. Upon rereading one of the theoretical articles from class, i feel that i could apply it effectively to the argument too. Said article (Kolln) also will help apply to my real form, in the sense that it can help me choose and provide what kind of diction could be useful in relaying information to the desired audience.
ReplyDeleteFor my real form, i have chosen to produce a brochure to hand out to local schools and parents of younger students who may be cautious about the approach of teaching evolution and creation theories as both credible. The brochure will provide effective ways that a teacher could appeal to the cognition and feelings of a young student to the topics without going to in depth or invoking hostility from parents. The brochure will also outline the positives of both theories, and their own respective contributions to the topics the student may learn further down their academic career. And finally, the brochure will outline that in fact both theories are to be treated as THEORIES at their basal explanations. Although strong evidence has been provided by both sides, neither can be completely justified.
I'm looking forward to the revision of my project. In a way it will be a re-vision as there are a lot of basic things I want to clarify that did not come out in my first draft. I believe that the historical cause of my issue lies in the very beginnings of communication technology and the attitudes people had towards it.I just haven't found the right reference yet to show that. Another thing I want to do is resharpen my question to make sure it doesn't lead me into a generational divide which the issue is surely not.
ReplyDeleteSo far as my real form I'm just not sure until I get the research done to my satisfaction. Then I will be able to decide how best to approach my audience.
1. In terms of revising my Historical-Causal analysis, I need to focus more on the discourse as to WHY the punk scene has factionalized and not merely commenting as to how it happened historically. I need to look at the discourse between scenes, movements, and local disputes, etc. Basically, what I had ended my first draft with needs to be the main focus of my second draft. I simply worried too much more about history that an insider would gladly repeat than the critical breakdown that takes a true analysis to display.
ReplyDelete2. For my real form, I have chosen a "punk rock zine," as they are called, which is reflective of the DIY-nature of punk rock. These zines, which is short for "magazines" are distributed at most shows for free or little cost in an effort to keep whatever content is listed in the zine unbiased and anti-consumer. Basically, I want to use my zine to publish an editorial about what punk rock communities need to do to "refocus" the movement from things as petty as clothing choices and mandatory fashion to gripping areas of political rhetoric that punk rock used to address. I also want to spend a deal of time making my punk rock zine look authentic; as funny as it seems, a punker might actually turn down a zine if it looks too professional. Lastly, I need to target an audience of people who regularly attend shows, club owners, and the police, since a growing problem of punk rock (and the main side effect to punk rock groups not getting along) implies fights and shows and resulting use of police force.
One of the main things I'll need to do with my project is narrow the scope of my question. My original question/thesis is: What are the ways in which the governmental agencies responsible for food regulation and dietary advice have been portrayed in popular food literature and what aims may the creators of these different media have by portraying the government's role in this way?
ReplyDeleteI'd like my real form to address consumers who might be interested in the legitimacy of food claims on the front of foods they buy. I'd like to provide a visual aide of boxes of food with health claims and compare their reception with and without information about the legitimacy of the rules agencies enforce regulating the use of claims. I'd like to see wheather the terministic screen consumers use when buying foods and reading claims changes based on this added information.
After research, I found that the Government regulation agencies in charge of food, mainly the USDA and FDA, have almost always been portrayed as agencies that do not meet expectation. Their priority seems to be appeasing the food and agricultural industry instead of provided safe food and adept nutritional advice to the American people. One thing that much of the literature pointed out was the conflict of interest in many of the employees of the FDA and USDA because of their former employment by the food industry.
With the new information, I felt like I should change my causal question: What are some of the causes that government agencies in charge of food regulation have been portrayed negatively in popular food media, and how might these portrayals change consumers' terministic screens they use in evaluating these agencies. I feel that with this question I may be able to focus my research a little better and find actual causes.
1) I think for reworking my thesis I will want to focus more on what other colleges ignore when it comes to accessibility. I gave an example but after much consideration I think I want to provide more evidence to help clarify my statement.
ReplyDelete2) For my "Real" form I want to provide an informational pamphlet for students and even faculty. I want it to bring awareness on campus of the issue.
1)For my research part, I have provided many historical resources but it seems that my statement cannot be correlated with my examples very strongly, I should use some stronger evidences and examples from the resources to strengthen my ideas. Moreover, I should try to build up a strong introduction and thesis that can help the audience to understand my point better. I think I should give more examples to show how challenges in the past to raise the awareness about racism in campus.
ReplyDelete2) For my real form, my article would be posted in Indiana Daily Student as my audiences would be the students in IU, I want to increase the awareness of the students in IU related to the campus attacks last month.
1) In revising my research paper, I need to rework my thesis. Instead of concentrating on the historical discourse or events that lead to the legalization of same-sex marriage, I will instead concentrate on the factors in the discourse of same-sex marriage that makes it so hard to resolve. This will involve examining forms of discourse such as audience construction, tropes, and the actual differences between civil unions and same-sex marriage. It will also involve exploring the arguments in the religious and state/civil points of view in same-sex marriage and if there is another way to look at the issue outside of the obvious two sides.
ReplyDelete2)For my real form, I plan to write an Open Letter to a conservative paper that will be about discourse and also a way to reach a kind of compromise between civil unions and same-sex marriage that can also be a step towards a legal status that contains many more rights for the same-sex couple than is now offered. I must also keep in mind the audience I am writing for and to consider my tone and to demonstrate my knowledge on the issue.
For starters, I am going to do much more digging into the blogger world to get a sense of who my specific audience will be. I plan to do this by branching off of the blogs that I already use in my analysis and viewing their readers. By finding more blogs and those of their readers I will be able to pin point who I will be writing for. Once I do these things I will be able to elaborate much more clearly on what it is I am claiming in my analysis.
ReplyDeleteFor my "real" form I am planning on writing my own blog, first explaining the issue at hand and then giving my solution to readers. I want to make readers aware of the issue, and let them know that it is not hopeless.
For my research paper, I think that I slipped into oversimplifications at times. I think that the explanation of my argument would be much stronger if I went more in depth with them. I definitely think that I could find more specific examples for my evidence. Some the examples I give could also be explained more thoroughly for an unfamiliar audience.
ReplyDeleteAfter these considerations, as well as the in-class discussion today, I think that the best setting for my real form would be an editorial-style article in a magazine for filmmakers, TV producers, or musicians. Because my argument suggests that the content of the popular media that people are exposed to affects their opinion of drug use, it is important for the people who produce that media to understand their responsibility to the public. I think that people in the entertainment industry forget just how much influence they have over their audience, and I think that reaching out to them and reminding them of their importance in people's lives would perfectly suit my topic.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAfter a few days away from my historical casual analysis, I think that the things that need most revision in my paper are the thesis statement (loose the laundry list of rhetorical terms!), the introduction (make it tie into the paper more), and cohesively articulating the complete theory developed throughout the paper. I have a lot of sources, both genre-specific, academic, and theory-based, but I need to examine some of them more closely.
ReplyDeleteMy genre form is an article for the magazine “The Lutheran.” One of the biggest challenges for me in the real form will be keeping the article succinct (I am not a succinct writer by any stretch of the imagination). The article can be no longer than 1,200 words. It also must fit into one of four categories, and I am trying to decide whether it fits under “People and Faith” or “Churches and Communities.”
For my historical-causal analysis, I think I need to check the in-text citations which are not correctly done. In few of the places I might have forgotten to cite. I also need to organize in better way so it would flow easily and my readers won’t get confused. In my paragraphs, I think my introduction to the issue can be stronger and clearer. I think I can sometimes avoid oversimplifications. One of the concerns for my draft is to avoid metadiscourse as much as possible. There is not much metadiscourse that I can think of now but I can revise it often to check for it.
ReplyDeleteFor my “Real form”, I plan to be a guest columnist for Indiana Daily Student newspaper and I plan to write short article which can be publish in the IDS. My audiences are the college students who do or don’t use Facebook. My aim is to let them be aware of the causes of social networking and its possible effects. I want to let the reader know and change the thinking and attitude about social networking. If I don’t get an entry to be a guest columnist, I will also try to publish the article in the monthly IU magazine in which issues from all around are posted. Nevertheless, I will try my best to circulate the issue and get people to think about it.
I apologize for my delayed response, I have attempted to work on my real form genre that I forgot to post on the blog.
ReplyDeleteIn regards to my research form revision, I plan to work on 'coming to terms' and extending the work from my resources to further my work and claims. Brief explaination of my research: I am examining and researching the ways in which discourse deters or promotes women's educationl attainment, and does religious doctrine influence women's educational choices. I also would like to strengthen the relationship between each resource and connect the ideas and claims together more concisely. I would also like to revise the ways in which I incorporate metadiscourse, in that, I will examine how effective the metadiscourse is in regards to audience awareness and if the discourse is warrented or if I can simply construct my claims without the use of several forms of metadiscourse.
In terms of my real form genre, I have been working on constructing a real documentary. So far, I have interviewed three extremely diverse individuals who have provided wonderful insight and knowledge about my topic. I have enjoyed constructing this documentary and hope that it can one day circulate to inform individuals about my aim and focus.